It has been four years. YES. FOUR years has already passed since you broke my heart. And every time I remember the pain you gave me, I still cry wondering what I have done to be stepped on like that. The girl who always ran back to you, the girl who excitedly greets you hello, the girl who walked around Buendia not knowing where to go, the girl who called you for (literally) hundred times and texted you NON-STOP just to have you back, the girl who begged every single person you know to help her have you back, the girl who swallowed every hurtful words you say, the girl who will always be the first one to say sorry, the girl who cries at night because she wants you back - is still DAMN alive in my memory.

You once meant the entire life to me. You were once the only guy I love. You were once my “I-only-need-you-I-don’t-need-anything-or-anyone” guy. But you are just a “WERE” and a “WAS” now. You are now my “just-a-guy-from-the-past”. You manipulated my mind and my heart. You treated me like a trash. You wasted all my efforts, all my sacrifices, and all my love because of your freaking pride. There’s no exact word to describe the pain you gave me. There’s no exact word to explain my stupidity. I always thought you were my Prince Charming or my Knight but how stupid can I get, you were just a player who tosses me away and takes me back whenever you NEED me – whenever you are bored or drunk. The painful truth is – YOU ONLY LOVE ME WHEN YOU”RE DRUNK. Yes it hurts but I got used to it. For that damn 10 months equals my lifetime trauma.

You want to me to give you a quick recap? We broke up because of my constant nagging (that’s your point). My point? We broke up because I don’t feel your love. How will I feel something that is not really there right from the start? But I tried. Even if it pains me a lot, I tried. I found out you cheated on me, I accepted it. I DAMN ACCEPTED IT. And when the girl confessed to me she is your “other girl” you asked me to defend you, and I did. I assumed that after that you’ll be better, you’ll show me that you love me – but you never did. My constant nagging escalated because you haven’t given me what I WANT. I just want YOU – your love. For the record, what were your sacrifices? NONE. If commuting from CSB to my school was your “sacrifice”, then what are your obligations?

I swallowed every pain, every shame, every guilt-trip, and every hurtful word. I swallowed every “You’re so stupid”, “you are such a darn martyr”, “Are you blind?”, and every “He’s not worth it”. I swallowed it – ALONE. Because I believe that someday, somehow you’ll care. But you never did. Instead, one morning I woke up with NO Prince Charming – with no Knight. I waited for one whole day and still you’re not returning my calls and you’re not answering my text messages. I waited for days and days until the days became months – I NEVER GOT ANY SINGLE WORD FROM YOU. And your “reason” – we fought the night before you LEFT ME. How stupid can I get? After all these things I still have the hope to say, “Maybe he’s just busy with school and stuff. My baby will come back. I knowJ” But you never did. Then my phone beeped like never before – It’s you. You SHOCKINGLY greeted me a happy birthday. I was very happy. I felt like the whole universe collided to bring you back to me. BUT I WAS TOTALLY WRONG. You texted me to say, “Happy Birthday. I got a new girlfriend”. I felt like the whole universe collapsed right in front of my face. My only reply was, “Oh really? J I’m happy for you. I also have a new boyfriend already” – ME a “faker”.

Months passed by - still in pain. Then my hero came. He helped me to fix your mess. He showed me what a real girlfriend and a real boyfriend is. He showed me a new definition of the words happiness, love, and life. I never felt so complete – never felt so contented. He showed me something you can never show me – HONESTY. He taught me to spread the love he gave me. He taught me to share this to my family and to my friends. He changed me. He made me love him – more than I ever loved you. And for the record, HE NEVER LEFT ME. Yes, I may be a nagger. But he took it as a challenge. I became a nagger because of your stupid fault. We are happy – more than the word “happiness” itself.

And now you’re here, hurting me again. But I won’t let you take the stage again. I won’t let you take this happiness away from me. I am not going back. You can never fool me EVER AGAIN. You’ll never have me again. You’ll never play with my heart again. Every time I remember you, all I can say is “PAINFUL”. I am not letting you hurt me again. I am closing my doors. It’s over. I will erase you from my mind.

♥Mochasuperhotfudge♥